Written version.

How did you find the naming practice? (If you haven’t done it yet, you can access it here).

I don’t know about you, but when I first did it, I found it quite tricky.  My knee-jerk was to judge or get annoyed at myself for noticing what I was noticing.

If it was a thought I was having in meditation, I would kick myself for not having a clear mind (not what meditation was about!)

And when I took to noticing my physical feelings, I felt a bit panicked.  For so long, I avoided feeling physical sensations related to my chronic illness.  My belief was that if I didn’t pay attention to the itching on my skin, I wouldn’t scratch.  And if I couldn’t help but pay it attention, I’d try to distract myself.  

Distraction is a good tool to have in your armour…sometimes.  It’s good to know it’s always there as the last - at least the last ‘healthy’ - behavioural gear change.  The problem with resorting to distraction as a tactic is that it doesn’t really help you in the medium-long term and doesn’t bring about lasting shifts in your being.  

For me, the most annoying thing about distraction was this…I’d always find myself mindlessly scratching my skin whilst I thought I’d been successfully distracting myself.  Damnit!

So, if distraction and ignoring aren’t the ones, what’s left?  Beyond naming, there’s curiosity and exploration.  It’s the next step in equanimity.  It’s transformative when experiencing sensations, thoughts, feelings, especially (but not limited to); pain and discomfort.  To be present enough to see it at a deeper level than ‘just’ pain or discomfort.

But why, Alana, why would I ever want to get intimate with pain or discomfort?

I like to think of it like this; pain, discomfort or any other sensation, feeling, thought or experience you might have, all eventually pass.  There’s information in the detail.  There’s growth in the practice of presence.  What we resist, persists.  What we take the time to listen to, does or says what it needs us to hear or understand, and then leaves.

Getting intimate breaks whatever it is down into more understandable, less threatening particles.

Take pain for example.  On the surface, it’s just that, pain.  But look at it again, slow down and breathe into it, see its temperature, shape, colour, expression, location, composition, and not only does it become less dominant, we can also hear what it’s trying to tell us.  Rest, drink water, stretch, sleep, take our meds, whatever!

Today’s Ally tip (that may become a thing now!) is this; Thank you, chronic illness, for showing me the importance of curiosity and exploration.  Thank you for showing me it’s safe to take my time to get to know that which I may want to numb or avoid.  Thank you for showing me that I don’t need to run from myself or my experiences.  Thank you for teaching me the practice of equanimity which will serve me in life outside of chronic illness.

Practice.

Today’s practice is a development of naming.  You’re going to go through a similar process, but this time you are going to focus on what you name, instead of moving on.

Find a place or position that’s comfortable for the next few minutes, where you won’t be distracted.  Close your eyes or soften your gaze.  Take a few steady, even breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.  Settle.

Bring your focus to what’s most present for you right now - it might be a sound (hear), a thought (think), a physical sensation or an emotional feeling (both feel).

Go with whatever you notice first, there’s no hierarchy with this.  Start to study and get to know it.  Where’s it coming from? How would you describe it?  Does it have a shape, a texture, a sound or movement?  What colour and temperature is it?  Breathe through it with slow, steady breaths.  Notice whether you have any impulses to change your experience (don’t worry if you act on that impulse, we’ll get to that next time!)

You might find your attention being pulled in many directions, different things trying to grab you.  Try to stick with the thing you’re on until you’ve explored all it’s nooks and crannies, then you can move on.  First naming it - hear, think or feel, then getting curious.

Keep going with that for a few minutes.

How are you feeling now, compared to when you first named whatever it was you noticed?

Return to your breath and when you’re ready, open your eyes.

It’s been lush practicing with you today, see you next time.