The voice of comfort.
What do I really need? What is my chronic illness asking of me?
The two questions pondered last time we met.
But what if the answers you received were the same answers you always receive; the ones that don’t really seem to help you in the way you need?
What if those answers were clouded by obligation and shoulds?
What if you had a really hard time connecting, and opted for whatever felt easiest and most gratifying in that single moment?
Sometimes, arguably most of the time, what you think you need and what you think your chronic illness is asking of you will be the thing that soothes you in that moment.
Sometimes, that thing you’ve been doing is a crutch, providing short term support, over and over again.
I call this the Voice of Comfort.
It’s the voice that tells you to stay up that extra hour to watch the next episode in the series you’re into.
It’s the voice that will then tell you to continue lying in bed in the morning (most probably faffing around on your phone) resulting in you feeling totally unmotivated for the day.
It’s the voice that will goad you into opting for the quick fix instead of listening to that whisper of wisdom that’s been there for however long (I’ll talk more about this next time!)
The one that tells you to keep pushing through instead of stopping and taking a nap.
Oh I know that voice so very well!
The annoying thing about the Voice of Comfort is that it feels right in the moment…all but for a draggy, heavy pit in your stomach that’s easy enough to ignore.
It provides quick gratification and an instant high. It’s the sugar rush of your inner healing wisdom.
So why do we opt for the Voice of Comfort when we know it’s not what we really want?
1. Because it feels uncomfortable and restless to truly be with yourself for a moment, let alone connect to your deep inner needs and act upon them.
That discomfort and restlessness has a threshold which, once stepped over, transforms into pure nourishment.
2. Connecting to your inner healing wisdom can also feel too much; too much effort for your already exhausted self, too heavy to hold…
Or sometimes it can feel too scary to approach but in an exciting and expansive way. In this instance, you’ll likely feel energy in your heart and a buzzing in your fibres, instead of a pit in your stomach. Good scary still feels scary; can you decipher between something that’s not right for you and something that is.
If you feel this, consider what you need to support you.
3. The Voice of Comfort - that sugar high of your inner healing wisdom - is what you’ve been trained to listen to throughout the time you’ve lived with chronic illness.
When you’re coming from a place of believing you need to be fixed, less than or unworthy, those sugar highs are soooo appealing!
Those beliefs you have about yourself are already shifting…feel into that.
The next day or two is all about noticing. Stepping into your slow shoes and having the presence of mind to question your actions and behaviours. See when that draggy, heavy pit in your stomach makes itself known…
Agreed to something that now doesn’t feel good? What’s that about? Does it feel out of alignment with your current needs? How can you take action so that you’re acting in alignment with your needs and your inner healing wisdom?
Or if you’re connecting to that more energetic buzz that comes with taking a leap in a direction that is aligned, think about what you can employ to support you in taking that leap.
Thank you for giving me the time to check my alignment as I support you in checking yours.