Radical self trust.
If you were to score how much you trust yourself, say out of 10, what would your score be? Think about your highest level of self-trust…
We’re so used to under-trusting ourselves, all the second guessing and self-doubt seems pretty normal, right?
So today I want to have a little fun with it. I want you to take than score, that top level of self-trust that exists within in you at the moment and double, even triple it. I want it so seem almost ridiculous and totally radical, compared to that base-level of self-trust you live with.
P.S. Now might be a good time to grab a notebook or your journal to have by your side.
*A small caveat to what we’re about to do; if you’re at a point in your cycle where self-doubt is high, if you’re sleep deprived, if you’re feeling particularly anxious right now, I invite you to take a rain check on today’s guided meditation and take the next ten minutes to sit with your eyes closed, focusing on your breath (in for 4 through the nose and our for 4 through the mouth). Ironically, when I’m in any one of these places - the winter of my cycle, if I’m sleep deprived and/or I’m feeling particularly anxious - my go-to mantra is ‘do not trust your thoughts’!
OK, back to it.
Practice.
Now this is really hard to do in a normal daily setting, with so many external influences, so when you’re ready, close your eyes. It’s time to get quiet.
Take a nice long, slow breath in, all the way down to your diaphragm; give it a delicious stretch and massage as you fill your lungs. Stretch up the spine, tuck the chin in slightly and gently engage a supported spine.
On the out breath, let it all go. Relax your eyes and your ears, give your jaw a wiggle and drop your shoulders. Ahhhh.
Now turn your attention to your mind. One by one, close all the mental tabs you’ve got open in there. Whatever you were looking at before this meditation, the conversation you had earlier this morning, the song lyrics that have been circling since last night, the to-do list you’re running through.
More will pop us as you close others down. Let that be OK; allow them to come and go.
Now locate your equanimity; anything you’re hearing, anything that’s going on around you, anything you’re feeling…it’s all welcome in this space without you needing to engage with it.
Draw your focus to your breath, a taste, a sensation; let that be your homebase. Any time you find your mind wandering, return here.
Now take a snapshot assessment of how you’re feeling within your body today. Name it.
You can take the following questions to your journal when the thoughts/answers come to you, returning to yourself and your body in-between each one.
Bring to mind a decision you’re grappling with at the moment. It might be something really present; something that’s going on within your day-to-day, or it might be something that’s been on your mind for a while.
Consider the options at play; the pull of shoulds and expectations, and the pull of what your body and being needs and wants you to do.
Current level of self-trust; where are you at right now? What direction are you heading in? Which end of that decision spectrum are you closer to? How would you describe the movement/energy at play; does it feel sticky, fractious, heavy?
How does it feel to lean in the direction of You, 10% more? If you have trouble locating that direction, return to your body. What are you feeling right now… can you feel a pull or a buzz of energy anywhere? If so, where? What’s it saying to you?
Now, with care, connect with any fear that might be present. What’s that saying to you? Remind yourself that you are safe. Return to that nervous system regulating breath - in through the nose for 4 and out through pursed lips for 4 - I am safe, I am safe. Thank you fear, I see you’re here to protect me, but I am safe.
Now return to that decision. Start colouring in the picture of what it would look like for you to fully trust; to swing that pendulum all the way into what your body and being needs and wants you to do. Fill in any gaps that are blank. Now put words to it, tell it like a short story. Start to notice how that feels in your body; where are you feeling it and what does it feel like? Describe it.
If you’ve been journalling, when you’re ready, come back to sitting with your eyes closed, and then let it all go. Just be.
I trust that if I bring that story to life, everything will be OK; everything will continue to happen in its exact right place. I am safe. I fully trust myself.
Now before you open your eyes, I’d love you to commit to taking one - and it can be incredibly small - action towards bringing that story - that aligned, true to you version of events - alive. Don’t overthink it, just pick the first thing that comes to mind and go with that.