Access the workbook.

I have a confession; I don’t like the term ‘putting yourself first’.  It feels a bit defensive, it feels a bit isolating, and I don’t think it properly communicates its intention.

It can also feel like too much of a leap when you’re living with low self-esteem and self-worth.

I much prefer choosing yourself.

Choosing yourself is rooted in nourishment and inclusivity.  As a mantra and a question, it can be used to build your sense of self-worth, all the while the actions that follow solidify the knowledge and belief that you’re worth all the nourishment, love and care.

Choosing yourself requires you to tap into connection and trust (modules you might find helpful to return to), asking yourself; what feels most aligned? What feels like an investment in myself?  What will hold and truly nourish me?

Thinking about the behaviours you’ve observed in the last few days, did you notice the kind of language that was present?

Often when self-worth is in question, there are plenty of shoulds, cants and musts.  They’re treated as if they’re a rite of passage to the wants, cans and chooses.

The idea that you have to do things a certain way - often in a way that means sacrificing yourself - to get what you want, need and desire, is deeply ingrained.

But I want you to know that you are worthy of living in a way that’s aligned and true to you, in a way that supports you, in a way that’s centred around choosing yourself, now, just as you are.

You don’t have to be or become anything or anyone different, first.

Practice.

Today, and for the next few days, keep this question at the front of your mind;

What would this look like/what would I do next if I was truly choosing myself?

P.S. If your answer is different to the action that follows (e.g. but I can’t, it feels too much, I’m scared of judgement or of letting people down), make a note of it, with compassion and without judgement (obvs!)  Think and journal about why.  It’s a clue, pointing you in the direction of where you might want to send some love and attention.

If it feels good, I also invite you to think slightly bigger;

Based on the belief you are worth it, based on choosing yourself, what’s something you can do for yourself?  

P.S. You can use one of the behaviours/actions you observed in the last few days as a starting point.  

E.g. I don’t want people to notice me, there’s no point in wearing clothes that might attract attention/compliments…or even that might make me feel good about myself (because that feels scary and unstable)…

What would you wear if you believed you were worthy of being noticed and complimented, and that made you feel good about yourself?  What would the you that chooses yourself wear?  

Tip: It can be helpful to also question the ‘why?’ (because it’s comfortable and that helps me lean into my most authentic self.  Because I like the feel of the material against my skin and that makes me feel nurtured.  Because I love the colour/print and it makes me feel happy.)

If it helps to write this stuff out, there’s a space to journal in today’s workbook.

Thank you for your practice today.

With all the love,