Creating safe environments.
We’re closing safety week with a look at the environments you spend time in.
Throughout the week we’ve cultivated a level of inner safety with coherent breathing, and tuning into your feelings around safety within your body. These are such great tools to have at hand…
…but it’s also important to notice the areas in your life where your sense of safety is being challenged beyond sense and reason.
As you move though the programme, there’ll be key moments where you’ll deepen and expand what you’ve worked on this week. For now, you’re going to be looking at two main areas;
Your home.
The time you spend online.
It’s going to be mainly about journalling today, so take to the workbook/use the following journal prompts to guide you as you write.
Home:
We spend so much of our time at home; its the place we need to hold us when we’re flaring, as well as the place we ask to breathe fresh life into us when we’re not. It has multiple roles and can almost feel as if it’s playing catch up to whatever phase of the chronic illness cycle we’re in.
Hands up if after a flare, you look around and feel overwhelmed by all the stuff you weren’t able to do when you couldn’t.
Hands up if you scramble to find the things and routines that support you at home, when you move from a state of low active chronic illness, to high.
Tune into the phase of chronic illness you’re in at the moment. How active is it? Mildly/non existent/very?
Describe how you generally feel about your home and the time you spend in it…
What/where do you particularly like? Where do you feel most supported, where do you feel safest? What is it about that place that makes you feel this way? Can you cultivate more of that? If so, how?
What frustrates/annoys/hangs over you? It could be things on the to-do list, things that hang around without a place of their own, things you have to work around to make them function as you need them to. What’s prevented these things from shifting into something that no longer frustrates/annoys/hangs over you? What would it take for that to change…what do you need?
What could work better? Think about systems and routines. This could be the place you keep your supplies/medications/supplements. It could be the heat blanket you have to scramble to find every time you need it. It could be the system you have in place for changing the bed sheets…
Now pick one thing. You might be tempted to do it all, but start with one and see how you go. If you’re low on energy right now, make it a small thing. If you’ve got bundles of the stuff, see how it feels to pick something bigger or do another after you’ve completed the first.
Online:
Online has become a sanctuary for the chronic illness community. It’s where you can connect to people going through a similar thing to you. It’s where you head for information and support. It’s so often where you’re able to get a good idea of what might be causing you to feel the way you’re feeling.
But it can also be a place you go when you abandon yourself. It can be a place that distracts you from being able to tune in to your body. It can be triggering when you see someone going through something you’ve experienced. It can cause you to compare yourself to others on a similar journey and wonder what you're not doing right. It can be completely overwhelming with all the information.
It’s time to take stock of the places you hang out, the people you’re connected with, the things you find yourself getting sucked into, the rabbit holes you end up going down. Write anything down that comes to mind.
It’s also time to start noticing when you reach for your screen. What do you use that ‘safety blanket’ (ironic) for? Is it something you consult before you consult yourself?
I want you to give yourself the go-ahead to unfollow, mute, cull, remove from your favourites, leave, unsubscribe, etc, from anything or anywhere that leaves you with an ‘off’ feeling. Anywhere/anyone that increases your heart rate. Anyone you compare yourself to. Anyone you used to enjoy but now don’t.
To jump-start this process and, honestly, to allow yourself to be present enough to realise what you’re actually doing when you pick up your phone, a break from it/certain online areas you find yourself in is really powerful. How long you do it for is up to you…
One thing I really want to draw attention to is the significance of the noticing. Bringing about awareness is just as big as taking action; I want you to know that if that’s as far as you get, that’s OK!
For both the home and online activities, I find it’s really helpful to set a time limit. Say you decide on 15-mins; just get done whatever you can within that time. You can always revisit!
OK, that’s quite a lot to take in for today! If you want to stick to just one area - either home or online - go for it. And remember, there is no rush!