Access the workbook.

OK, there’s sooo much I want to say about self-compassion, because it’s a big and beautiful subject (some of which we’ll be exploring later this week) but for today I’ve got to hold my horses!  

As much as I’d love to get into it, I also know that self-compassion needs strong foundations, because there’s much out there that loves to swoop in and take it down!

So let’s say hello to the voice of compassion, or what I sometimes refer to as your inner best friend.

Think of your inner best friend simply as the person you are to your friends.  The person who cheerleads, supports, comforts, praises and keeps judgement to a humanly possible minimum!

There’s potential to have a huge amount of sway over the way you speak to yourself; to engage your inner best friend.  But to welcome them in, you must first become aware of the words that fly around in your head; moment-to-moment, day-to-day, as well as in situations directly related to your chronic illness.  

The reason you need to get to know those words is because the tendency to not speak to yourself in a kind, compassionate way, is strong.

Also known as your inner critic, this voice, is (sadly) kind of the default.

I used to be a pretty crappy friend to myself.  Repeatedly throughout the day, I’d say things ranging from ‘oh ffs Alana’ whenever I did something that annoyed me or I messed something up, to ‘gross’ when I looked in the mirror.

Ouch, that hurts.

When I began to take notice of the way I spoke to myself, honestly, I was shocked.  The thought that I would never speak to anyone else like that, and would be heartbroken if anyone else spoke to me like that, boggled my mind.  Because if that was the case, why on earth would I speak to myself in that way?!

The why behind our inner critic can look different for each of us, but a lot of the time it’s linked to conditioning, past experience, expectations and societal norms.

Thinking about the impact those words would have on me if coming from someone else put everything into perspective…

As small and insignificant a bunch of words may seem when they’re ‘only’ inside your head, they have a real impact on how you move about your world, the way you see your world, and the very real functionality of your body.

When your head is filled with kindness and love and care, your body responds…and the world around you begins to respond and change, too.

Think about the power in that!!

The aim for this week is not only to get you to a point of identifying and correcting your inner critic; filling your head with vocabulary that’s kinder, healthier, and more supportive, but also to start identifying and implementing acts of self-compassion, so that the very structure of your life is built on the stuff.

Today’s Ally Tip: I thank my chronic illness for sparking the chain reaction that follows self-compassion.

Journal prompts.

• What parts of your chronic illness typically spark the voice of your inner critic?

• What sorts of things do you typically say to/about yourself?

• What would you prefer to say/think about yourself?

• How do you say these things? What does your internal voice sound like?

• When you criticise yourself, how does it make you feel?  How does your body respond?

• How would you prefer to feel?

• What do you think the negative consequences are of speaking to yourself like this?

• What about that would you like to change?