6 unexpected ways I’ve been able to get a dog (even though I’m allergic)
I’ve always wanted a dog of my own, but the very physicalities of my chronic illness meant that I haven’t been able to…
Until recently.
At the end of January 2023, we adopted a puppy.
As a bit of background, I grew up with dogs and have always loved them, but about 15 years ago started developing allergies to all things furry.
My allergies started with that most annoying tickle in the ear/nose/throat area and increased to insanely itchy eczema, hives, broken, oozing skin, wheezing and struggling for breath, and extreme exhaustion.
At its peak, I was taking multiple antihistamines a day and still couldn’t be in the same room as a dog (not even the ‘hypoallergenic’ kind).
So, how is it that I’m now able to have a dog in my home, not take any antihistamines, and not have a major allergic reaction?
Well, I’m about to tell you.
But before we start, I want to tell you not to bother scrolling for product recommendations or mentions of ‘I did this and if you do it then you too can heal your allergies’, because you won’t find any. I have not ‘healed my allergies’ (there’s no such thing and actually, I wouldn’t want to - see point 3 about understanding the language of my chronic illness).
But most importantly…none of what I’m about to tell you has anything to do with taking supplements or magic medication, or pushing through my illness, or fixing any part of myself, or getting to the one root cause, or finding a new cure.
My ability to get a dog even though I have eczema and a history of furry friend allergies has happened outside of all of that stuff. It’s happened within me and within my life.
1. I never let go of the dream of one day, owning a dog.
It wasn’t a dream I held onto tightly, but I allowed it to softly reside in my body and in my mind. Of course, at times I thought it would never be possible for me, but when those thoughts came up, I sat with them and tried to allow it to be open ended.
Now and again, I’d let myself dream about the ways that getting a dog could be possible for me. Hypoallergenic breeds, for example. I mentally planned out scenarios where this dream could become a reality.
Allowing a thing that matters to you to reside in your body and mind is all part of the process of working towards it. It’s that percolation phase that is actually really important and beautiful. It prepares you for being able to take action, when you feel ready to in your mind and in your body.
Here I am, trying to record the Reframing Chronic Illness Podcast!
2. I didn’t rush into getting a dog.
I did it on my terms and took it step by step. It started with gently increasing my tolerance to being in the company of dogs and when it felt right, we looked after a friends dog for a week. I rubbed my face in his fur, let him lick me… you bet I tested all the known triggers!
But more importantly, I trusted myself and my body. I reminded myself that I was safe and that if the worst came to the worst, I could take antihistamines for the time he was there (turns out I didn’t need to take one!)
Over the years, the things I’ve been working on at a deeper level, to do with my self-concept, processing of emotions, etc - all the stuff you get to work through in Your Chronic Illness Ally - has meant that my allergies have reduced over time.
A couple of years ago, I was only able to be in the same room as a dog in the summer, in a well ventilated area, for about an hour, with no physical contact with the dog. The combination of central heating in winter and dogs can sometimes be a bad one for me…
Fast forward a bit and I was able to be in the same room as a dog for a few hours in the summer.
Fast forward a bit more and I was able to be in the same rooms as some dogs in the winter, when the central heating was on, when all the windows were closed, for a few hours, and a little touching of the dog was OK!
I’ve low-key tracked this trend over time and it’s been a really good sign that one day, perhaps I would actually be able to have a dog of my own!
Over this time of paying attention to when my allergies show up and when they don’t, I’ve been able to identify other contributing factors.
I’ve noticed that the presence of my allergies has a lot to do with how stressed I am, how tired I am, how nourished I am.
I’ve noticed that if I’m in the presence of a dog at the same time as being in the presence as someone I have a complicated relationship with, my allergies will chime in (which then indicates there are things to work through in areas I’d never have connected with my allergies, but I’ll talk about that another time!)
Our bodies are so interesting. They are so fascinating. They are so bloody intelligent! Tuning into the way they communicate is all part of understanding the language of your chronic illness (which is something we do in Your Chronic Illness Ally)
3. I stopped trying to ‘heal my chronic illness’ before I allowed myself to do the thing I wanted to do (in this instance, get a dog)
Telling ourselves we need to be anything other than we are in this current moment before we allow ourselves to start doing the things we want to do, ultimately ends in us never doing the things we want to do.
By my old standards, I wouldn’t have allowed myself to even entertain the idea of getting a dog if I had even a smidge of eczema.
My skin now is about a million times better than it used to be but I still do have eczema, and that’s OK.
This is a nuanced one. It’s where the physical, practical, cold, hard realities, meet what we carry emotionally, energetically and cognitively.
The very reduction of my eczema has of course meant that my body is physically able to tolerate Alana-specific-allergens better. Some of the things I used to be intolerant or allergic to, I simply am not anymore (dairy, tree pollen…)
But the reduction of my eczema has not been a result of me trying to reduce my eczema, or ‘heal my chronic illness’! I tried that for about 8 years and it got me nowhere.
It’s been about me learning to live my life however my chronic illness is showing up in any given moment. Learning to embrace my chronic illness as my partner in crime, my guide and ally.
Working with my chronic illness means seeing it as a part of my body; as my body’s communication centre.
It’s involved me moving away from the kind of thinking that says ‘I have eczema and allergies and therefore these things are bad for me’. It’s been a process of understanding that my eczema and allergies are here to tell me something. My symptoms are the language of my chronic illness.
When my symptoms are very present, it’s not only about the immediate trigger. It’s about all the other things going on in my life that have caused my body to react to those immediate - generally speaking, harmless - triggers. Those triggers are just the cherry on top of the cake that has been being stirred and baked and iced for however long.
4. I worked through my fear of medication.
After going through Topical Steroid Withdrawal (also the time when I was taking multiple antihistamines every day), my already not so great relationship with medication turned into a full blown fear of it. I would panic at the thought of having to take any, and I’d avoid taking it all costs.
The mention of steroids or the thought of ever having to take steroids for anything scared the shit out of me (I actually asked my sister to intervene if I was ever in hospital, unable to advocate for myself, and they needed to administer steroids. She’s a trained nurse and of course did not agree to this!)
On a day-to-day level though, this fear stopped me from doing a fair few things in my life. My mindset at the time meant I would rather miss out than take medication that allowed me to do a thing. I saw taking medication as weak, cheating and believed it would undo all the hard work I’d put in (all absolutely untrue beliefs).
HUGE DISCLAIMER: I now see how unhealthy - and potentially dangerous - living with that fear was. I’m so glad I’ve been able to work through and process that fear, and I now have a much healthier and more functional relationship with medication.
I also recognise that prescription medication in the context of chronic illness is a hugely complex subject. On the one hand, it’s a lifeline for so many, is so helpful and allows people to function life when they otherwise wouldn’t be able to. On the other, there are people just like me, whose bodies become reliant on medication that no longer helps them in the way it used to. They find themselves taking stronger and stronger doses which can cause more harm than good, and sometimes they find themselves being left option-less, with the costs far outweighing the benefits.
Medication in the context of chronic illness is a great tool, but it can’t be the only tool. It needs to be used in conjunction with other things, and not with the sole purpose of suppressing symptoms so that life can be lived. See point 3 - symptoms are the language of your chronic illness and need to be listened to.
5. I worked on my inner safety, reminding myself that no matter what, even if I did have an allergic reaction, I would ultimately be OK.
Here’s the truth; since welcoming Bernie (that’s what we named him!) into our lives, I have experienced allergies.
I always knew this was going to be a possibility. Each dog is different and hypoallergenic is a spectrum. It's dependant on their ancestry (he was a private adoption and knowing his ancestry was an important part of the process) and there are never any guarantees.
And here’s the key; when I have experienced allergies, I haven’t freaked out and thought OH MY GOD I’M ALLERGIC TO THE DOG WE’VE JUST ADOPTED.
OK, that’s a fib! There have been a mini ‘what ifs?’ in my head… of course there have been! But my deeper knowing told me that since welcoming Bernie into our lives as our first long-term dependant, things for me have changed!
I’ve been stressed, worried and anxious about whether he’s OK. I’ve not been sleeping so well because I’ve had the 4am (why is it always 4am?!) panic wake-up, thinking with ‘oh my god am I going to find him dead in his crate in the morning?’ (shit, anxiety does bizarre things to your thoughts).
For the first week or so, I was getting used to the adjustment of my normal routine. It was all out of whack because now I have a little friend to walk in the morning, then feed, then play with, then walk again, then feed again, blah blah blah. I still haven’t managed to get my morning meditation routine tweaked to suit my new life and it’s been wholly absent for nearly a month!
My life is now about more than me and my partner. My mental space is taken up with more than how to take care of myself, and that’s been an adjustment! Living your life in the way you want to live it, choosing yourself, is a luxury. AND, I honestly believe it’s a luxury that gets to be possible for everyone.
I digress…
Having the knowledge about how my allergies work allowed me to take myself out of the OH WHAT HAVE I DONE panic and into the facts of what was actually going on. Low and behold, by taking time for myself, by journaling, going to bed earlier, nourishing myself, and some of the other things I have in my toolbox, my allergies subsided.
6. I addressed the things that were contributing to me living in a constant state of fight and flight.
A huge part of my whole process - a huge part of the work that I do as a Chronic Illness Coach - is about addressing the deeper stuff that contributes to living in a constant state of fight and flight. Existing within the sympathetic branch of your nervous system is really common/mainstay for folk living with chronic illness.
Working to bring my nervous system into more of a natural balance has involved therapy, coaching, facing up to some Big Scary Things, being intentional about joy, reframing what chronic illness means to me, processing, and more.
I want to caveat this. It’s not “all about nervous system work” - a phrase we’re seeing more of recently. Nervous system work is the ‘new thing’ to focus on (past Things have been gut health, nutrition). That doesn’t invalidate it, but lety’s recognise that as a society, we like to look for silver bullets. Nervous system work is part of the work - it’s probably connected to all of the work - but it’s not a silver bullet.
When talking about tolerance, I like to use the cup of milk analogy. When my chronic illness has been at its worst, my cup has been filled to the brim. Any movement or vibration has caused it to spill over. It’s my ‘resting state’ when my chronic illness is at its peak.
When the cup is full, anything that comes along that a human body would typically see as harmless, pours a little more milk into that cup. Things that a human body would typically see as harmless includes allergens, internal or external. This is also usually where your immune system comes into a play, but that’s another thing we’ll leave for another day.
If you imagine that the full cup = pretty much existing in a non-stop flare, with tiny bouts of respite every now and again. Coming into contact with my known allergens caused the up to overspill, and that resulted in a mega, life-halting flare. The cycle of which would then compound everything that was already going on.
By working on bringing my nervous system into a state of natural balance, it’s meant that my tolerance levels have increased. The cup has emptied a whole load and not only am I not living in a constant fiasre-state, when I encounter my known allergens, it doesn’t cause a spillage.
For me, nervous system work included things like breath work and yoga - what I refer to as ‘Tell’ practices. But nervous system work can’t stop there; it needs to involve what I refer to as ‘Teach’ practices. A.k.a. What is your body trying to teach you? What’s the deepest lesson you need to learn here?
That was a conscious understanding of what had filled up that cup in the first place. It saw me working on things like my boundaries (and therefore self-esteem and self-worth), my self-talk and beliefs/opinions about myself (and therefore compassion and acceptance), the logistics of my day-to-day & my energy (more self-worth and self-esteem, chronic illness informed planning). All of those things form the backbone of Your Chronic Illness Ally; they are the lifeblood of this work.
Wow, that turned into a much longer post than I had originally planned! Really, I just wanted to tell you about how delighted I am to have a fluffy pal in my life, and that something I had at times thought wasn’t possible for me, has actually happened!
A lesson for life in general, I think!
I’m Alana, Chronic Illness Coach, Writer and Podcaster
After 10 years of trying to fix, fight and ‘cure’ my chronic illness, I decided to chuck away the rule book and instead embrace my chronic illness as my guide, ally and superpower… and I’ve never been happier or healthier!
